I’ve recently decided to change my life for the best. Well not really. Considering my previous ambitions wanting to become a tv writer isn’t exactly the most stable and assured job I could go for, but if I end up destitute one of my siblings will take care of me (that is what they’re truly for you know).
Along with this newfound enthusiasm I decided to make a premature bucket list. This won’t be the end of it I’m sure but I’d like to give it a go anyway. I thought it would be appropriate to have a bucket list of things I wish I could do but can’t do due to US laws, the laws of physics, the laws of morality, rules in general that suck and make our lives boring.
THE FANTASTICAL FANTASTIC BUCKET THAT CAN’T BE KICKED:
- Learn to fly.
- Wrestle a giant octopus and beat it up like raccoons beat up domestic cats
- Live thrice and die once (and by die I mean be reborn-like that doesn’t happen anyway?)
- Stalk Conan O Brien
- Stalk Gina Torres and Zoe Saldana at the same time
- Go back in time and stop Firefly from going off the air
- Go back in time and become friends with Audrey Hepburn, then travel with her through space continuum like Time Lord/Q and solve mysteries
- Invent the automobile. That’s really it.
- Convince George Lucas not to make I, II and III prequels of Star Wars and also to make James Earl Jones the official face of Darth Vader.
- After the test run of fighting a giant octopus beat up the Kraken worse than Chuck Norris beat up that bear
That’s pretty much it. I’m sure I’ll think of some more things later of course.